richwhitelesbian:

running for president? no, running from president. white house game of tag to see who becomes secretary of defense

(via shialabeowulf)

forsciencejohn:

the year is 2025

scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want

the spice girls are getting impatient

war is upon us

(via shialabeowulf)

bitterteen:

i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember i dont even like me

(Source: ghostlyteen, via shialabeowulf)

• Girl: *whispers* Um, your bra strap is showing...
• Me: WOAH
• Me: OH MY GOD
• Me: NO
• Me: NO PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE SO
• Me: AHHH NOW EVERYONE WILL KNOW
• Me: THAT MY BOOBS DON'T MAGICALLY STAY SUPPORTED
• Me: THEY'LL KNOW
• Me: I WEAR A BRA
• Me: AH, NO GOD PLEASE

mafura:

snap → snap

        ↙

snap  →  snap

(Source: infnit, via shialabeowulf)

chuckquizmo:

you know those scenes in action movies where somebody gets in a taxi and somebody else gets in a taxi and tells the driver to follow the other taxi what if one of them was in the cash cab 

(Source: hokeyfright, via shialabeowulf)